Rebirth

Today marked the first day of my "domestic life" as a wife. The whole day I stayed in our little room, cleaning the place, washing the dishes and arranging some things. I read 2 books but did not finished any of them. But anyhow, I've learned a lot from both books. One book I read was Bro. Bo's "Your Past Does Not Define Your Future". It dawned on me how my past defined who I am right now. All my insecurities, my apprehensions in life actually has a history to back them up. Reading the book and applying what I have learned from it would really be a start of my healing. Yes, I want to be healed. I want to be whole again, I want to live a life of purpose and not walk around everyday like a zombie. I want to have dreams, big dreams. I want to plan for the future and what necessary steps to take to fulfill those plans.
I have realized that with everything that I did in the past, I haven't forgiven myself yet. I thought that I have moved on but actually I was running away from it, trying to hide myself from the truth. I am ashamed of what I have done and I kept it all inside me because I thought that it is for the best. But actually it was a load too heavy to carry...and I carry it with me everywhere I go. I have to face it head on...to start my healing process.
I can't wait to free myself of this burden. I can't wait to be free of my insecurities and my shamefulness. I can't wait to live my life in God's glory. I can't wait to start anew.

Nonsense

Right now, I am at some hotel lobby eating bacon sandwich paired with coke. Although I am not hungry, I have no choice because i am here to use their internet. I'm not being a cheapskate here you know because its like paying for eighty pesos for the internet use.
Anyway, I am enjoying my time alone and i enjoyed the fact that I am connected right. Oh how i miss facebook and cafe world! But those are not the most important things, what is important is that I am with husband, day and night. I am very happy that we are together now.
I am praying that I would be able to find a job here so that i could still support my family back in Cebu and support my other "needs". I really hope that soon we can find a bigger place to stay where i can have my own little kitchen and cook something good for my husband. I'm also hoping that we will be blessed with a child. I would really love to have one. Our very own Ryden Calob. In God's time it will all come to us.

Cemented

Tomorrow I will be joining my husband in Bacolod. Looking around my parent's rented home, I felt sadness within me. Not that I am attached in the house itself but i am more attached to my family.
For the past 2 weeks I have been sleeping in the living room with my little brother. He told me he wants to accompany me because i am all alone in the living room. He is so sweet. I am going to miss him so much.
I am sure to miss the television at home, the 24 hour internet access and our dogs.
Going to Bacolod entails a big change and difficult adjustments.

I hope everything will be ok in time.

Blessed

Today I felt overly blessed. I am blessed with a loving husband, a rowdy but great family, my husband's sweet family, wonderful soon-to-be ex-office mates and hilarious friends. Indeed, my life is blessed and I am really grateful to God for His generosity, His kindness and His great love for me. I may not know what my future in Bacolod brings, but I've got a feeling that whatever it is, it will be awesome! I mean, when God gives, He gives abundantly. And that's what I am preparing myself for; His abundance.

Thank you Father for loving me unconditionally. I love you so much Dad!

Overture

This is my first attempt to compose a blog. I will try to make this informative and less diary-like kind of blog. This is going to be a little hard because it has been a decade since my last entry in my diary. I don't keep journals anymore, I really don't know why. I used to write all sorts of stuff everyday but I guess I grew lazy making blow-by-blow account of my life.

So what inspires me to write? Well, its not a what but a who. My husband thought that i should go back to writing because I am good at it. He told me that i should write about weddings (because i want to be a coordinator) and that he told me that blogging nowadays can make money. That is sort of the inspiration i need to go back to writing right? Earning money while you compose nonsense stuff. But really, I intend to practice and put things in motion again, i mean put my brain in motion again. I have been stagnated for awhile but atleast i'm doing something out of the ordinary now.

This is it. The start of something new. (So High School Musical..hehe) Till then...